I'd like to go up to all those "friends" who have disappointed me and give them a big "Fuck you". Just walk right up, smile, flip them the bird and walk away.
I don't know at this point what I do to people to make them treat me the way they do. I'm not a horrible person, so why do I get treated horribly?
The thought of becoming a hermit sounds very appealing to me lately. To be able to disappear and not have to answer to anyone, deal with stupid bullshit, hear other people's complaints. Ah, yes. Bliss.
I must have had a lemon for breakfast cuz I aaaaam bitter.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy - the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Hey baby don’t you worry, even though the road is rocky I'll be coming home to you again.
I've really been playing with the idea of moving out on my own lately.
I just feel the need to be independent and on my own. I want to make my own rules, do the dishes when I feel like it, raise my dog the way I want.
I'm tired of walking on eggshells, tired of doing nothing all weekend long. Tired of waking up before it's even light out to get to work for 9 am.
Blah.
I also think I've started developing feelings for someone else. Well, I did last year and since then I have tried to push it aside but I can't help but wonder what would it be like. Being in a relationship with the same 5 years has definitely made me question whether I could spend my life with the same person...and be happy. I'm sure I could do it for the sake of it, but I don't know if I believe in everlasting love.
I see cute couples who look like they are in love and I think, "Is that how I am supposed to feel? Am I even in love any more?". I hate second-guessing.
It's time for change.
I just feel the need to be independent and on my own. I want to make my own rules, do the dishes when I feel like it, raise my dog the way I want.
I'm tired of walking on eggshells, tired of doing nothing all weekend long. Tired of waking up before it's even light out to get to work for 9 am.
Blah.
I also think I've started developing feelings for someone else. Well, I did last year and since then I have tried to push it aside but I can't help but wonder what would it be like. Being in a relationship with the same 5 years has definitely made me question whether I could spend my life with the same person...and be happy. I'm sure I could do it for the sake of it, but I don't know if I believe in everlasting love.
I see cute couples who look like they are in love and I think, "Is that how I am supposed to feel? Am I even in love any more?". I hate second-guessing.
It's time for change.
Friday, October 9, 2009
no direction
I'm seriously considering taking out an ad on craigslist or something for a best friend. Mine have totally let me down. Not that I've had a best friend for years, but the people I used to consider a best friend have basically replaced me and it kind of hurts. I understand you move away, things change and you make new friends but I don't know. No one is really trustworthy.
I just hate the way I've been feeling lately and how I have absolutely no one to turn to who will at least listen without trying to solve my problems for me or force me to do something I am not comfortable with.
Yesterday I hated the world. Today I hate everything.
I just hate the way I've been feeling lately and how I have absolutely no one to turn to who will at least listen without trying to solve my problems for me or force me to do something I am not comfortable with.
Yesterday I hated the world. Today I hate everything.